I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
