Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
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you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
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Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
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