My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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