I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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