i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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