I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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