If i come over, it means nothing
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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