My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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