This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
