So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
