if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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