Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
