Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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