I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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