The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I am one with the molecules
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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