too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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