woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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