Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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