How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
