i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize