Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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