i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Randomize
