i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize