Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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