They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
