"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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