It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
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I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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