just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
