I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
