you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
