Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
My pussy is not your playground.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
