Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
