i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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