her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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