i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
