Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Randomize
