It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
