She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
