I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
