Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Randomize
