All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
