With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
