Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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