New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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