I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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