Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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