i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
