So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
