The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
