I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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