This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
