Duck Duck Cougar?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
