hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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