im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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