Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
