Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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