the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
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