just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
she peed on how many people?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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