Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
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I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
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She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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