we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
