I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i think i have herpe
just one?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
