its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
