Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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