Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
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