You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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