Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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