no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
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i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
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The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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