why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
We got so high we made milksteak
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Randomize
